:EBM Survivor Angel: II

.....had I sold my soul?

the weight shifts... a briefcase tumbles past.....
like a traincrashed mother outstretching her
broken fingers to reach her screaming baby,
as it slides towards the window and to abyss....
I attempted to balance the frosted knightmares
of my psyche with my much needed deep warm
dreaming.. it was important for me to have an
object of focus, something to cherish, love &
protect... everyday, this became my goal..
everyday, was an effort to stop the train from
tipping. everyday, stripped to my basic cells.. like
a vintage mickey mouse film reel speeding up &
shredding itself to a halt.

everyday, an attempt to realign myself.. to
stand up tall and set my wings straight and
symmetrical. to balance my worldview of
parental control that had iron branded me with a
barcode, and to replace it with a worldview of
my own - that of realising the value of the
spirit, and of time..... of the diverse spectrum
of colours that weren't all grey, of tools for
happiness, such as wings and of natural
harmonzing patterns to draw potent energies
from - like the sun, platonic solids & DNA...
mandalas, fibonacci spirals, fractals & symbolism
within sacred geometry.

in these things... I found salvation. something
to focus on whilst I balanced everything out
- eternal truths that remained constant and
unchanging, the stability I craved for in the midst
of life's reckless chaotic flow. like a melodic hook
in the hollocaust of a madcap jungle track, I'd
found an angel to lift me clean from the night
creatures that encircled me..

for some focus on power animals or God.
or have their children or partners. others have
music or cars or set meals, set programs or
crazy habits of checking the heating faucet a
million times..... I chose the spirit of nature...
and the mythologies that documented it.

this is was my viking raft to catch the tsunami
and ride it, torches burning with a dark fire
undoused by the sea. this was my perfect
foothold to freerun the skyrise & the dexterity of
my toes to reach the baby.....

big big pressures were upon me.. but I found a
way through.. ~ deepwarmdreaming xx